Before You Give Up on Meditation
Meditation. It’s a word that has become quite mainstream in the last decade or so. Even my kids do breathing exercises in gym class now. But in a world where multi-tasking is a virtue and entertainment fits inside your pocket, meditation takes some time getting used to. I know I found it difficult for a very long time and had many questions. If you are feeling a bit frustrated and ready to give up, here are some tips that I’d love for you to try before you do so.
1. Understand What It Means to Clear Your Mind
Clearing your mind. In the beginning, I took that quite literally and got very frustrated. But most of us have a stream of thought constantly running through our minds. Maybe if you practice often enough and long enough, you can get to a state where your mind is completely clear. I don’t know. But you are certainly not going to get there as a beginner. Initially, you should just be trying to clear off enough clutter around a certain thought so that you can concentrate on that particular thing. If I knew that’s what I was aiming for, I think I could’ve shaved years off of my frustration.
It’s been about 5 years since I started, and I have gotten to a stage where, on some days, my mind slows down so much that it can’t complete the thoughts that bubble up. It feels like that state just before you fall asleep when you can’t think anymore. But instead of falling asleep, I “wake up” again and notice that my mind was pretty clear and peaceful just then. The brain goes into alpha state and comes back. But like I said, it only happens on some days. I still can’t get there consistently.
2. Move Right Past Any Distractions
Meditating is a bit like driving through a city street. There’s a lot of distractions all around you, but you need to concentrate on your immediate surroundings. You have to smoothly go around an obstacle and then keep moving. There’s no point in getting angry and honking your horn just because you suddenly remembered someone cutting you off in the same corner yesterday.
When random thoughts pop up into your head while meditating, pass them by as if they’re trees on the side of the road. Expecting your mind to clear suddenly because you’re meditating is just as unrealistic as expecting all traffic to disappear off the road.
3. Try to Listen for the Vibrating Atoms
One of the more common recommendations that I see for new meditators is to start by counting your breaths. For example, you inhale and exhale slowly for a count of four, and then repeat until you are completely relaxed. This can get repetitive very fast, though, and I soon found myself thinking about something else all together. I tried it many times and realized breathwork wasn’t for me. And that’s OK. We’re all different.
What did work for me was what I can only describe as “listening for the vibration of atoms.” What we believe to be silence is usually not completely silent. There’s a constant, faint high-pitched buzzing that we usually ignore. If we concentrate enough, we can hear this. And I like to imagine that we’re listening to the atoms vibrating, but what the sound is doesn’t really matter. I just know that it takes so much concentration that it leaves little room for random thoughts to enter.
If you find this doesn’t work for you either, you can try sitting on your hand and feeling your blood pulsating through your fingers. It has the same effect on me. The sensation is so faint at first, you really have to concentrate. I feel this is also helpful when you are first learning Reiki.
4. Smile as You Meditate
The first time I entered the alpha state, I couldn’t believe how much joy I felt. The ends of my mouth turned up, and then kept going up and up. And just when I thought I couldn’t smile any bigger, they went up some more!! The surprise I felt was what eventually pulled me back out of that blissful state. Since then, I’ve figured out that having a smile in the first place makes it easier to enter alpha. Our body naturally relaxes when you genuinely smile, so I think it’s a strategy that makes a lot of sense.
5. Practice with a Meditation App
If you are really struggling on you own, consider using an app like Headspace that will guide you through your meditation. They are very reassuring and gradually increase the length of time to build up stamina. Yes, you have to pay, but eventually, I learned enough that I felt like I could continue to meditate on my own.
6. Get Some Sleep!
One thing that seems to happen to a lot of beginners is that they fall asleep in the middle of meditation. To be honest, a good majority of my Headspace time turned into naptime for me. But don’t feel bad about it. It means you’re heading in the right direction. Remember what I said about how clearing your mind feels like the state just before you fall asleep? If you’re exhausted, it’s natural that your brain will continue past the alpha state and fall asleep. Get some quality sleep before you attempt to meditate, and you’re more likely to stay awake. Even if you do end up falling asleep, celebrate every moment spent in alpha. You’re still making progress.
In the end, meditation is about bringing more peace and relaxation into your life. Don’t worry so much about whether you are doing it right, and enjoy the sense of calm, no matter how long or brief it lasts.