Make a List and Check It Twice
If you’re looking for love, make a list of all the qualities you want in a partner. Looking to move? Visualize the house you want to live in. Not satisfied with your job? Write down what your ideal job will be like. Be as detailed as possible.
Suggestions like these abound when you read articles about the law of attraction. I do think making a list is very helpful in determining what you really want. It turns your vague desires into more tangible and actionable goals. But if all you do is make a wish list, then I feel like you’re missing out on the truly transformative power of the list you just made. It would be far more insightful if you would go back and look at it from a slightly different angle.
That one extra step you need to take is to ask yourself “Why?” for each of the items in your wish list. As you continue answering, you’ll begin to realize that the list is not really about your ideal partner, or a dream home, or a perfect job. This is a list of your ideal self. This is about who you want to be, who you expect yourself to be.
And here’s the clincher…Eventually, you’ll recognize that you fall short on many of your own expectations. And instead of making the effort to meet your ideals, you’re just hoping for someone or something else to swoop in and fill in the blanks for you.
Ouch!! I know! When this revelation first occurred to me, it hit me like a ton of bricks!! But if you can recognize this and admit it to yourself, you have a golden opportunity. You can stop waiting for that new partner, or a new home, or a new job to make your life better.
For example, let’s say that you want a partner that appreciates you. Ask yourself, “Why do I want that?” For me, my answer was “Because I lack self confidence and want someone who will affirm my worth.” But that’s a dangerous thing to ask from someone else. I can fall apart as soon as the appreciation was withheld from me. I realized what I truly sought was appreciation from myself.
And yes, I did make an “ideal partner list” even though I’m married. I would actually highly recommend it to everyone whether you are already in a relationship or not. It’s an eye opening experience. I can honestly say my relationship with my husband is so much better because I made this choice.
When you view your wish list from this new angle, you can analyze your desires and see if they really are that important to you. You can start taking actions now to get closer to your ideal self. And in that process, you get a whole lot closer to your ideal partner, or your dream home, or that job you’ve been waiting for because you will be vibrating at a different frequency. That’s why making a list is so powerful.